Power. What comes up for you with that word?
Depending on your upbringing, worldviews and the countless other influences you’ve had in your life, you may have certain emotions and stories tied to what it means to be in power or have power.
We often believe power to be a masculine energy. Words like: protecting, controlling, dominating, asserting might come to mind. This is one form of power.
But what if I told you that feminine energy possesses power too?
I know… shocking right? As someone who used to be a firm believer that power was only connected to ‘masculine’ traits, I refused to believe that anything ‘feminine’ could possibly be powerful. But it’s true. Feminine energy is powerful.
First, it’s important to point out that we all have both feminine and masculine energy. It isn’t based on gender or background. Whether you’re a bodybuilder or beauty pageant, a lumberjack or a caregiver, we all have both types of energy.
It’s also important to point out that feminine and masculine energy have nothing to do with what we traditionally think of as “feminine” or “masculine”.
So what is feminine and masculine energy?
Feminine and masculine energy can be thought of as a yin and yang or the two poles of a magnet. Together, they create balance, wholeness and complete each other.
Consider this list
- Nurturer versus Protector
- Intuitive versus Logical
- Soft versus Hard
- Being versus Doing
- Patient versus Restless
- Fluid versus Structured
- Gentle versus Rigid
This is a small sampling of the characteristics associated with the yin and yang of feminine versus masculine energy.
Even with this short list, do you notice a pattern?
The feminine energies are right brained while the masculine are left brained. Both qualities are necessary. Neither is better than the other. To be whole, balanced and truly powerful, we need to be able to tap into both of these energies.
The power of the greatest leaders in history, men and women alike, was their ability to use both energies in harmony.
Florence Nightingale led the first official team of British military nurses during the Crimean War with action and conviction, while also being a nurturer to the wounded and sick.
Mahatma Gandhi, a fighter against the “deep disease of color prejudice”, a giant force for civil rights, also led with patience and kindness.
Princess Diana, who was admired for her compassion, humanitarian efforts, and love of children, also stood strong, not afraid to challenge the monarch’s traditions.
Martin Luther King, Jr., one of the most powerful leaders who took a stance, spoke up, and drove movement, was also known to lead with profound empathy and compassion.
The list of great leaders goes on. Their gift and power comes from their ability to balance both their feminine and masculine energies.
But for most of us, our energies are out of balance.
We live in a world where masculine energy is over-valued. Where progress, structure and logic are more respected and admired than empathy, patience or intuition.
We’ve come to believe that we our masculine energy is what leads us to success and power. So we’re constantly keeping our masculine energy on.
And on the flip side, we push away our feminine energy and even deny its existence. We’ve completely blocked and lost touch with our feminine energy.
The result? Unhappiness and burnout.
If you’re like most people, then you’re probably draining your energy trying to keep up this façade for the sake of gaining acceptance. Perhaps even for the sake of feeling enough based on societal norms of ‘enoughness’.
You’re out of balance. You’re burnt out and exhausted from being out of balance. And likely, quite unhappy because you’re not in your harmonious, natural state.
You might be saying: “But I’m different. I don’t have any of that feminine energy. It’s just not who I am.”
I’ve heard that from both women and men. And I get it. For decades, I truly believed that about myself too.
You see, I grew up being rewarded and recognized when I displayed my masculine energy characteristics. So I learned to change and adapt my behavior to garner these rewards. I learned to push down emotions, compassion, friendliness. Instead I moved fast, I relied on logic and I showed up with great passion and assertiveness.
I hid behind my independent, Superwoman mask. “I don’t need anybody’s help” was my motto.
I leaned on my masculine energy to succeed in this “man’s world”. I blocked my feminine energy. In fact, I shunned the notion of having any feminine energy at all. And I firmly believed that I was ‘just one of the guys’.
“That’s just who I am,” I’d say.
Truth is, my feminine energy had been conditioned out of me.
I had been so conditioned into thinking, believing and doing things a certain way, that I truly thought that was my natural state of being.
The reality: It wasn’t. I had just lost a sense of who I really am and I didn’t even realize it.
Perhaps that might have happened to you too. So I challenge you to consider the possibility that your feminine energy has been pushed away for so long that it’s blocked. And that it’s still within you, just waiting to be (re)awakened.
So how do you unblock your feminine energy?
Feminine energy is expressed when you move with the flow of life. It’s about inclusion, connection, listening and creativity. It’s about being in touch with our inner self and deeper emotions.
Here are a few ways to tap into your feminine energy.
Tip #1: Make space to reflect.
Whether it’s journaling or talking to a therapist or coach, when you explore your deeper thoughts and emotions, you’re getting more in touch with your feminine reflective energy.
Tip #2: Get spontaneous (and playful).
Flowing and being are core to the feminine energy. So free yourself from planning and allow yourself to flow and be in the moment. Let yourself play and simply do what you desire in the moment without a plan; to truly experience the spontaneous joys of life.
Tip #3: Embrace your creative side.
Feminine energy is highly creative. Find ways to express your own creativity whether it’s through cooking, painting, gardening, writing or crafting. Or perhaps creating music and dancing freely to it. The list of possibilities are endless! The reward? You’ll gain a sense of freedom, self-expression and relaxation as you create new life.
Tip #4: Connect to your senses.
Our bodies hold a lot of deep wisdom and power. The feminine energy is in touch with this deeper wisdom and power. Learn to connect with your body by intentionally stimulating your senses while fully experiencing the pleasures of these sensations. Whether it’s feeling the temperature of water on your skin as you shower or smelling the aromas of a scented candle, listening to the splashing of ocean waves or tasting all the flavors of your wine, take a pause and fully experience all of your sensations.
Tip #5: Surrender to receiving.
Feminine energy embraces receiving. Surrender to receiving by asking for support and help or accepting a compliment. Perhaps head into nature and receive the beauty of the world around you: the trees, the grass, the sky and the clouds. Take in the calm beauty all around you. When you receive, you also have more to give.
True success and power comes from learning to use your feminine and masculine energy in harmony.
There is certainly power in doing and taking action. There is also a power in being and pausing.
There is power in asserting and speaking. There is also power in listening and connecting.
There are times for logical thinking. There are times for intuitive feeling and creativity.
When you are able to tap into both energies, to balance the dance between the two, that’s when you are truly powerful. When you can reawaken both energies and bring them together into a beautiful dance, you will also reawaken your full potential.
You will be unstoppable!